Thursday, February 02, 2006

2066


Amethyst Vineyard, celebrated novelist, sits in the book-lined study of her lovely Greek revival home. Through the open curtains, one can see the flourishing garden and the swimming pool that she still uses daily at eighty-four years of age.

Miss Vineyard smokes non-carcinogenic cigarettes as she speaks to me of her beginnings as a writer, publisher, and war correspondent.

"You know, in those days, everyone had advanced degrees. You could hardly move without bumping into a Master of something or another. Because I didn't have the letters after my name, I had to prove myself in other ways."

And prove herself she did. With the publication of her first novel, "Wunderkind", at only twenty-five, she established herself as a wunderkind of the literary world. Twenty-six novels, over one hundred short stories, and three collections of poetry later, she has certainly lived up to the promise of her youth.

Still a lovely and lively lady, we move from the study and take a tour of the house, from the recording studio where she still produces her weekly radio plays, to the room devoted entirely to period costumes, and into a grand Tuscan-style kitchen where Miss Vineyard pops the cork on a bottle of red and pours a generous glass for each of us.

"The secret," she says, "is proper planning. You can't do what you can't imagine yourself doing, and so every day I conduct an interview with myself in which I discuss the recent accomplishments that I haven't completed yet. It takes the fear right out of it."

It certainly seems to be working for her. She has a new novel in production, the details of which she refuses to divulge, along with a forthcoming film adaptation of her sixth work, "The Gardener".

"I try to stay buy, of course," she says, tapping the ash off the end of her perfectly safe and healthy cigarette and taking another sip of her wine. "Who wants to be one of those old ladies with nothing to do?"

Comments:
Somehow, you've inspired me to be a productive old lady...
 
Perfect, Viney. I believe it will happen (and if those cigarettes come true, I will be sooo happy, regardless of my writing).
 
I can't wait. This is how I motivate myself, by pretending to be years into the future and conducting interviews. Someone will invent those cigarettes. I mean, come on, 2066? That's plenty of time.
 
You know something scary? Both of you were in my dreams the past few nights. No, not like that. Totally innocent. Dave, you were really into Metal. Captain, I think you were planning on eloping with my best friend. Now that I've told you this, you will both become frightened and never comment on this blog again for fear that I will begin stalking you long-distance.
 
Is your best friend nice?
 
I'm cool with that.
 
My best friend is nice and newly married, so there was some drama in the dream; she was planning how to tell her husband that she was running away with you, Cap.

Dave, you made a really nice Metal guy. You had long, curly hair. I don't suggest that you try that, though.
 
Good. I tired to grow my fine, uncurly blond hair logn once, for a poneytail, and it was a disaster. FEMA was even called in, not that the fuckers did anything to help or anything.
 
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