Saturday, February 11, 2006
Everybody's Doing It
I have reached a point in my life where everyone I know is making major life decisions.
I have two friends who are married, a friend who is getting married this year, and three people I work with are pregnant. I am twenty-three years old, and I feel that that is too young to make such decisions. I should wait at least until I'm thirty before I do anything of the sort.
So, the question is: who is right, them or me?
I still think of myself as some sort of overgrown teenager. Perhaps its genetic, because my mom and dad are perpetually seventeen. I work three crap jobs, I have artistic ambitions that have not yet been crushed, I shop in the Juniors' department. Anyone who is going to be a mother should definitely not buy a scooter instead of a car, or think that they could possibly ride a bicycle across America. And that's where I'm at in my development. A married woman should probably not think that hookers are the prettiest ladies around. Right?
I don't know. I was out on my own before all of my friends were, having had to give up on the college experience due to financial considerations, so, in a way, I'm pretty mature. I can pay my bills, shop for groceries, basically get things done. But marriage and family? That feels very, very distant to me. And these are people who I've known since I was thirteen. I know what they were like then, how totally insane they have always been, and I just can't grasp the fact that now they are trading in their last names and picking out bassinets at Target.
I watched Eraserhead for the first time tonight. What if I have a baby dinosaur instead of a baby human? For some reason, it seems entirely possible.
Scary thoughts. On an upnote, I sang 'Ode to Billy Joe' tonight, as well as the female vocals in 'I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)'. We brought the house down.
I have two friends who are married, a friend who is getting married this year, and three people I work with are pregnant. I am twenty-three years old, and I feel that that is too young to make such decisions. I should wait at least until I'm thirty before I do anything of the sort.
So, the question is: who is right, them or me?
I still think of myself as some sort of overgrown teenager. Perhaps its genetic, because my mom and dad are perpetually seventeen. I work three crap jobs, I have artistic ambitions that have not yet been crushed, I shop in the Juniors' department. Anyone who is going to be a mother should definitely not buy a scooter instead of a car, or think that they could possibly ride a bicycle across America. And that's where I'm at in my development. A married woman should probably not think that hookers are the prettiest ladies around. Right?
I don't know. I was out on my own before all of my friends were, having had to give up on the college experience due to financial considerations, so, in a way, I'm pretty mature. I can pay my bills, shop for groceries, basically get things done. But marriage and family? That feels very, very distant to me. And these are people who I've known since I was thirteen. I know what they were like then, how totally insane they have always been, and I just can't grasp the fact that now they are trading in their last names and picking out bassinets at Target.
I watched Eraserhead for the first time tonight. What if I have a baby dinosaur instead of a baby human? For some reason, it seems entirely possible.
Scary thoughts. On an upnote, I sang 'Ode to Billy Joe' tonight, as well as the female vocals in 'I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)'. We brought the house down.
