Thursday, December 01, 2005
To All the Fellows Who Think It Appropriate to Scream at Me:
Stop it. Really. No, you can't ride wit' me on my bicycle, because I have enough trouble pushing myself around on it without your added body weight. Could you maybe stop talking loudly about how fat my ass is, because really, I know. I've heard from very reliable sources that my ass is freakish, and it's cruel of you to remind me daily. Also, please remember that I am on a bicycle and usually you are in a car, which makes you a direct danger to me, and so I will be forced to call the police the next time you drive along beside me asking me for a ride. You have a car! Had you forgotten that you were driving, so stunned were you by my beauty?What is it about me that makes you think I would enjoy such things? Is it the way my mouth hangs open? That's just because my sinuses are stuffy.
Leave me and my awkward ass alone.
// posted by Amethyst Vineyard @ 1:18 PM 
Comments:
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Ha ha. I still think you look around 12, like maybe an older sister to Pippi Longstocking.
Doesn't every girl think her butt looks big?
Doesn't every girl think her butt looks big?
Pretty much we do, David. Sad but true. My favorite expression for it is, "I like that wagon you're draggin'." Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Asses!
Yeah, sometimes it's just true, and it's best that I acknowledge the truth.
Amethyst, you have cute bangs. I'm not capable of pulling off this look.
Amethyst, you have cute bangs. I'm not capable of pulling off this look.
Bangs, and most certainly Baby Bangs, are hard to pull off for most people, especially Blogagaard. I agree with dirty, you wear them well, AV.
You are all so supportive of my baby bangs and my ass; I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
But why is this: that men think I will like it or something when they scream obscenities at me from great distances? Why? And if I really look like I'm twelve, doesn't that make them all pedophiles and subject to prosecution?
But why is this: that men think I will like it or something when they scream obscenities at me from great distances? Why? And if I really look like I'm twelve, doesn't that make them all pedophiles and subject to prosecution?
In the background of this picture, you can see the shelves that I put together upside-down. By the time I realized how upside-down they were, I didn't even care any more.
I'm sorry.
I will stop driving beside you and yelling at you while you peddle to the store to get my pork rinds.
I'll just play somgs by Queen and Spinal Tap.
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I will stop driving beside you and yelling at you while you peddle to the store to get my pork rinds.
I'll just play somgs by Queen and Spinal Tap.
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