Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Is it Art?
My friend Stella just came over. We rode bikes together, and she accompanied me on a few errands. In the course of this, she mentioned a photograher friend who wishes to hone his craft with some more 'artistic' photographs, and who expressed a desire that Stella, in his words, 'get him some girls'. Because he said he wanted unusual-looking girls, she immediately thought of me.
I don't know how to react to that. What is 'unusual', exactly? I said I'd do it and all, because hey, naked pictures. But I'm 'unusual'? And if he doesn't call, does that mean that I'm too 'unusual' or not enough? And what if he takes the pictures and I see them and then I have a crisis because I will actually know what I look like without any clothes on? (I prefer to pretend that I'm clothed at all times, even if I'm not.) And will they really be artistic? Does he have an airbrush?
Stella implied that if he does agree to photograph me sans jeans and sweater, then he really is looking for something in the nature of art rather than just pictures of pretty girls. Hey! What the... so if it's me, it's art, and if it's someone more attractive, it's porn?
This spirals into my life-long discussion of girlhood, in which looking 'attractive' is a reason for being. Yes, I wear makeup, buy nice clothes, paint my nails, etc. But I'm not looking to "catch a husband" with my eyeliner. I am really okay with the way I look, until someone tells me that I look like I've lost a few pounds when I haven't, which makes me wonder why they were weighing me in the first place.
I catch myself doing it, too; checking girls out and comparing them with myself. And then I want to slap myself around the face. But I think too few people have that reaction to their own judgements.
In conclusion, I think that if the photographer doesn't call to take some nudie shots, I was a little too unusual for him.
// posted by Amethyst Vineyard @ 3:17 PM 
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You know, Am (can I call you "Am"?), I come over here to participate because, well, because I like you, and it's usually pretty interesting, and then because you were being sort of provocative over on my blog, and I think, "well, I'll comment," then I look at the post and I think, "maybe not," because even if I had a basis from which I could speculate on your naked beauty, indeed, even if I had first-hand knowledge of your naked beauty, I would in fact refrain from having an opinion about your naked beauty because it is totally none of my business and, any opinion that I might have, approvng, disapproving, or neutral, about your naked beauty is simply incompatible with creating a friendship. That, and just locally here on your blog, I seem to have made a name for myself as a porn expert, an idea I am not real keen to give too much support to. And I sure don't want Clurg to have to drive up here and punch me, partly for the punching part, and partly because of the annoyingly long drive part (he could stay over, of course).
Having said all that: "art, schmart; hey, naked pictures." If you want to, go for it.
Having said all that: "art, schmart; hey, naked pictures." If you want to, go for it.
I recently saw some nude photos of my brother. bleghhhhhh. His girlfriend invited my parents & me to see her new apartment, which was really cool, it's just the apartment I'd like to have. Except for the tasteful nudes of my friggin brother. You couldn't see anything, just his back and legs, but it was quite enough. Am I a prude? Am I frightfully bourgieos? Maybe. Is there a point to the story? Not really, other than don't show your family these pictures.
I'm having second thoughts about the nude pictures thing. For one, I talked to Clurg about it, and he reminded me that the photographer we're talking about is not exactly the nicest guy in the world. I just thought, how many opportunities does a girl have to get naked pictures done professionally, and for free?
Really, I don't think I'm what he was looking for. And Kelly, don't worry. Clurg's not a fighter. I told him just last night that you two seem so similar that when we move up there I'll feel like I have two boyfriends, except that one's married with two kids.
That was a wake-up call, SD. What if people see them? People I know? Eww.
Really, I don't think I'm what he was looking for. And Kelly, don't worry. Clurg's not a fighter. I told him just last night that you two seem so similar that when we move up there I'll feel like I have two boyfriends, except that one's married with two kids.
That was a wake-up call, SD. What if people see them? People I know? Eww.
I have a friend, Patty, who hooked up with another friend, Andrew, who is a painter. About a year into their relationship, Andrew, who is prolific, had a showing at the Winona Community Art Center (we played the opening). The works displayed were about 400 paintings of Patty naked. So you're chatting with Patty about the usual nothing, and just over her shoulder is Patty, if you know what I mean. I found it disconcerting.
Then I did another opening at a gallery in Minneapolis. Photographs of this girl, naked, in all sorts of unlikely settings -- snow-filled, abandoned silos; on the frozen Minnesota river; you know, etc. (Just 'cause it's art doesn't mean that I like it...) Anyway, serving drinks in the back is the girl, nude (with a little bondage-wear on). That was edgy, I guess.
Then I did another opening at a gallery in Minneapolis. Photographs of this girl, naked, in all sorts of unlikely settings -- snow-filled, abandoned silos; on the frozen Minnesota river; you know, etc. (Just 'cause it's art doesn't mean that I like it...) Anyway, serving drinks in the back is the girl, nude (with a little bondage-wear on). That was edgy, I guess.
Never fear: when Stella told the photographer that I would do it, he apparently wrinkled his nose and asked her to find someone 'normal, at least.' Awesome. Should I be happy or offended? Should I just kick him in the ballsack? It's not like I have three arms or anything.
The whole problem was that I was thinking of this in philosophical terms: would I? Sure, if it was good, and that became a 'yes' to a more practical question of would I right now.
I think I will kick this guy in the ballsack. Abnormal? Jesus.
The whole problem was that I was thinking of this in philosophical terms: would I? Sure, if it was good, and that became a 'yes' to a more practical question of would I right now.
I think I will kick this guy in the ballsack. Abnormal? Jesus.
Hey, Kelly--
Can I hop on those gigs with you when I get up there?
I mean, I'll carry your amp or guitar if anything.
Can I hop on those gigs with you when I get up there?
I mean, I'll carry your amp or guitar if anything.
Oh, you bet. It's been a little while since I've had one of those, but I'm supposed to hook up with performance artist Tim Kaiser, and that promises to get it going again. We'd let you play. I can't guarantee nudity, however.
If Amethyst wants to attend ("come" just seemed like the wrong word) the art show openings, naked, I am sure it can be arranged.
I will wear kneesocks. But that's it. I'm au naturale from here on in, people. It's about acceptance.
Art show:
#122 Girl in kneesocks at airplane hangar
#123 Girl in kneesocks doing benchpress
#124 Girl in kneesocks trimming toenails
#125...
#122 Girl in kneesocks at airplane hangar
#123 Girl in kneesocks doing benchpress
#124 Girl in kneesocks trimming toenails
#125...
Nothing says 'the human condition' quite like kneesocks. I can't have been the first person to think that.
There's this guy, a different photographer, famous for his Lake Superior landscapes. Actually, I guess there's a couple of stories here, bear with me. (Not drunk, but a convincing simulation.) Well, no, it's one story with two themes.
So he has this model he works with, having apparently given up taking nature pictures for upper middle class living rooms, and he takes her picture (nudge nudge, wink wink) (cf., that other comment you made) nude all over Lake Superior. She has the most amazing, err, loft in her, umm, coiffure, if you see what I mean, perhaps there's a special, err, carpet comb she's has purchased. Anyway, he leaves the wife for the model, then the wife runs off and dies in a car wreck. Then he publishes the nude pictures anyway, of his new wife and son.
Why am I telling this story? I bet they all try to sleep with their models.
So he has this model he works with, having apparently given up taking nature pictures for upper middle class living rooms, and he takes her picture (nudge nudge, wink wink) (cf., that other comment you made) nude all over Lake Superior. She has the most amazing, err, loft in her, umm, coiffure, if you see what I mean, perhaps there's a special, err, carpet comb she's has purchased. Anyway, he leaves the wife for the model, then the wife runs off and dies in a car wreck. Then he publishes the nude pictures anyway, of his new wife and son.
Why am I telling this story? I bet they all try to sleep with their models.
That's a sad story, and the saddest part is the 'coiffure'. I would look up what you're talking about, but I am now filled with fear.
Instead, I will google Diane Arbus and check out her nudist camp photos, and boost my own ego.
Instead, I will google Diane Arbus and check out her nudist camp photos, and boost my own ego.
I think the Lake Superior nude model & photographer were on a tv news program a couple of years ago. It seems strange that they would be, but it was a fairly memorable broadcast. all the naughty bits covered, of course
Thanks, SD. Kelly the link-freak brings up this immensely interesting topic, then can't even provide me with a link. I'll have to google 'lake superior phtography' and scroll through hours-worth of schlock just to find some ass.
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